One thing I am always thankful for is that nothing lasts forever, and that the only constant is change. Today was a day for reconnecting and bonding with my kid.
Anakin had been complaining of ear pain, and thought he had an ear infection. I took him to the clinic, and after a thourough inspection, assured him they looked great. She said it sounded, from the way he described it, that it sounded more like tooth pain. So today, I took him to the dentist. He had x-rays, and his teeth had no visible signs of cavities. I was relieved. And then the hygeniest said something to the effect of, "maybe its just growing pains or your wisdom teeth coming in." It was a priceless panic:
"What are wisdom teeth? I already have all my adult teeth. What do you mean they take them out. I have enough space for them in my mouth. How do they get them out. Does it hurt? I dont like surgery. I dont have wisdom teeth. If I had them I would know. I have an ear infection. I know this is an ear infection. I know what ear infections feel like. It doesn't hurt in my mouth it hurts in my ear. It doesn't hurt anymore!"
It was pretty cute.
Nothing makes a better reward for a good check-up than a milkshake, right? And arcade games? Yep. That was our afternoon.
I did some reaching out today, and the underlying theme was that I can only really count on myself. I was reading some random persons Twitter Bio, and it said something like "Yes, life is different since I had kids, and sure, there are some days I wish I could sleep in, but its all worth it, the little things make it worthwhile." And I realized that I still haven't developed that kind of relationship with my kid, or any kid. I still feel like I am at work 24/7, and I would give anything to sleep in. I am still getting used to his quirks. Its still a bumpy ride. The shining moments are not as frequent as I had hoped.
I realized that the shining moments were happening today at the dentist though, he did so well, and I could tell we were getting somewhere. And then, the arcade was the happiest I've seen him in a while. I think that our honeymoon period is ending, and I am going to have to put a concentrated effort into keeping him occupied and happy, and strengthening our connection. I know that in my heart, I want to be the last foster home he has to live in. He is too old to be tossed around any more, and I really do love him. Watching his struggle over the past few years, and advocating for him and his brother, built a strong bond between us. He is also starting to really connect with my family, so that is also a huge benefit.
Theres ups and downs. We'll get through it. I just like to vent a bit. No matter how good it is, or how bad it is, the only constant is change, so nothing will last longer than I can bear. I may scream though.
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